Jay Shetty, 35, is a British author, life coach, and former monk. In his podcast, On Purpose, he wrote the bestselling Think Like A Monk and interviewed stars from Will Smith and Jennifer Lopez, who celebrated her wedding with Ben Affleck. Jay lives in Los Angeles with his wife Radhi.
Life can seem dictated by deadlines: dropping out of college at 21, having kids at 35, and retiring at 65. As a result, we feel like we’re either late or late. ‘time, on time, or too late. I was at a university in London doing financial planning when a Hare Krishna monk named Gauranga Das gave a lecture. It was so convincing that when I graduated, I gave up my plans and went to India to become a monk.
It now seems like an interesting part of my story – at the time it was considered a waste of my life. Some people think I have been brainwashed. I stayed in a monastery in Mumbai for three years, but it was not the right path for me. When I got home, my friends had a house, a nice car, and a raise when I was rejected for 40 jobs. My family members said, “I told you so!”
It took me nine months to get my first job (at management consultants Accenture), which felt far too late. But I was wrong. It was just part of my journey.
I met my wife, Radhi, just before going to India. I was training at a London temple at weekends and a lady on a tour said she had a daughter interested in spirituality and wanted to introduce us.
I said I was going to be a monk, but I thought she’d get on well with my sister. The next day, I met her. She was stunning.
When I returned, Radhi was friends with my sister, who said: ‘She likes you.’
I’m still not free of timeline pressures — but don’t make decisions based on them. I’ve been married seven years, so people ask: ‘Where are the kids?’ Being married for that long and not having children might be considered ‘behind’, but for now we’re happy as we are.
When considering a life change, we may think: ‘Am I ready? Is this the right time?’ I don’t think they’re good questions. Instead, I ask: ‘Do I know how this will change my life and am I OK with that?’ If the answer is yes, I go for it.
